5 Reasons I Added Pronouns to My Email Signature
Well, this is awkward. First, you just said, “you go girl” in a professional setting. You might want to practice taking a beat before talking. Second, you know the colleague you are talking to identifies as they/them! And you just talked about it! So, I guess this is how Tuesday is going to start.
If you’re like me, you probably don’t have a lot of experience thinking about your gender identity. I’ve always identified as a woman. It wasn’t until recently that I learned that humankind has not always had just two categories for gender[i]. In many parts of the world and throughout history, it has been more fluid.
So, here are the five reasons I added my gender pronouns to my email signature block.
It’s Practical
How many times have you gone to email a person and been unsure how to address them? Whether it’s a new contact, client, or colleague, a name is not always obviously “male” or “female.” Does Alex go by ‘she’ or ‘he’ (or maybe neither)? Should I use Mr. or Ms. for Wei?
If everyone added their chosen gender pronoun to their signature line, I’d save a lot of time and decrease the chance of disrespecting those I connect with.
I Want To Build Inclusive Teams
In this competitive market, diversity is a competitive advantage. Diverse teams simply achieve better business results.[ii] I’ve also found that when you have a diverse team that is also inclusive, it improves retention and employee wellbeing.
Diversity includes gender diversity. Even as I do my own learning around what that means, by adding she/her to my signature line, I communicate that I want the best people on my team, no matter how they identify their gender.
In the competition for talent, I’ll use all the tools I can.
It Communicates To Clients I Deserve Their Business
Clients and customers are changing. Younger generations are identifying outside the gender binary at higher levels[iii] & it’s not just the Beyonce’s of the world walking out of pitch meetings for lack of representation. More often, contracts and business are dependent on how we communicate who we are as a person and as a company.
Be adding she/her to my signature line, I communicate to my clients that I care about the “individual-ness” of who people are.
It’s one simple way I can show them that I deserve their business.
I Want To Be A Good Ancestor
I have a son and a daughter. I want them to grow up in a world that accepts their expression beyond strict ‘gender’ lines. Specifically, I want my daughter to show anger, own being good at math and be accepted regardless of her waistline. I want my son to dance, be proud of his empathy, and be safe enough to cry and be vulnerable.
In short, I’m looking for greater freedom. And in many ways, the fact that there are such strictly defined gender boundaries keeps all of us from expressing and being accepted for all of who we truly are.
By adding she/her to my signature line, I can hopefully create questions and conversations about gender that opens up our society’s strict expectations based on my gender identity to make it better for the generations to come.
Most Importantly, It Matters
Violence and hatred against people who don’t identify or appear as “male” or “female” is incredibly high and real in the United States[iv]. In particular, black trans women are disproportionally targeted. Our society is so bound to the binary understanding of gender that some of us turn to violence when people present or identify as something different.
When did we lose our curiosity? When did we forget our grace for others? If I am authentically comfortable in my own gender identity, what does it mean about myself if I fear or dislike others simply because they don’t fit within a ‘male’ or ‘female’ identity?
For me, by adding she/her to my signature line I hope it encourages others to do the same. Even tiny changes by some can shift things for the better.
The Question: What Can I Do?
Join me!!!
You and I decide each day what kind of person we are going to be. For those of us who have always comfortably identified as “he” or “she,” this is a simple yet powerful opportunity to make a difference.
And if you’re worried about what other people will say (you know you’re thinking of specific people right now), feel free to copyright one of my reasons here! At a minimum, it’s going to be hard to argue with the business case.
Since that very awkward "you go girl" work moment occurred, I have taken responsibility for my own learning about gender identity. I have also been gifted the friendship of a person who identifies as they/them. And as friends often do, they opened my eyes to something that I had been missing.
I have my reasons why I added my gender pronouns to my signature block. What will yours be?
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Authors Note:
If you have no idea what gender diversity is all about, and you need a place to start: start here. If you want some guidance on how to use pronouns in the real world, look here.
If you’re looking for an inspiring person & resource, please meet Amber Hikes.
Some things to keep in mind that I am still learning and practicing:
Don’t ask others to tell you what pronoun they prefer.
Instead, offer your pronoun when you meet people and let them decide if they want to tell you theirs. I promise after 2 times this gets more comfortable.
Don’t ask people who identify as they/them to “teach” you about their gender identity.
Instead, do the damn learning yourself (see all resources above).
Don’t freak out when you say ‘she’ or ‘he’ instead of ‘them.' It’s a learning curve for a lot of us.
Instead, take a breath, apologize, and keep going. If you need practice, buy “Peanut Goes for the Gold” and practice reading it out loud.
Don’t ‘out’ people who use they/them pronouns (e.g., “Jeez Greg, they go by they/them, and not she”).
Instead, follow the other person’s lead, use their first name, and if you interact with them a lot, ask if it’s okay that you use they/them in wider audiences.
Photo Credits: Unsplash; Flower by SharonPittaway; Water Rainbow by Jordan Mcdonald
While there are many sources supporting these facts, here are some:
[i] https://www.international.ucla.edu/burkle/article/139796
[ii] https://www.mckinsey.com/business-functions/organization/our-insights/why-diversity-matters
[iii] https://time.com/4703058/time-cover-story-beyond-he-or-she/
[iv] https://www.hrc.org/resources/violence-against-the-trans-and-gender-non-conforming-community-in-2020